Would You Like to Die? (Est-que.....)
by Ch0Chang
Summary: Colin Creevey, the boy who has admired Harry forever, has fallen in love with the Boy Who Lived. However, Harry and Ginny are together. Colin won't give up until he gets what he wants......
1. Desperation and Naievity

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DISCLAIMER: No, none of it is mine! It belongs to the goddess of everything Harry: JK Rowling. (Cuts off arm in sacrifice) The only thing that is 100% all mine is the plot.

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RATING: PG-13 It will become R in the later chapters due to violence.

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SOME SLASH! DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ! (ALTHOUGH IT IS ONE-WAY)

VERY ANGSTY! (I LOVE ANGST) 

Read and review plz!

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Est-ce Que Tu Voudrais Morter? (Would You Like to Die?)

Chapter 1: Desperation and Naievity 

It was a cheerful dinnertime at Hogwarts Castle in the Great Hall. The gossiping babble of the students floated up to the enchanted ceiling, which was showing the spectacular sunset taking place outside. However, there was one gloomy spot on this cheerful evening, and it happened to be sitting at the Gryffindor table.

A small sixth year by the name of Colin Creevey sat at the very end of the Gryffindor table, miserably picking at his food. Although Colin was now sixteen, ( A/N Going on seventeen..... shameless plug) he was still small for his age, and his mousy-coloured hair was longish, and fell into his eyes most of the time. Colin gave up trying to force food down, and but his head in his hands out of complete and utter misery. When he looked up, he saw the very beings that was causing him this pain, this angst that was shattering him to his very soul.

Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley were cuddling at the other end of the table. Harry whispered something into Ginny's ear, and she giggled and said something back. Harry was in his seventh year, and he had grown up during the summer. Not so thin now, his muscles had filled out due to all of his hours logged playing Quidditch. His unruly, raven-black hair fell onto his face, partially covering the scar that was a personal souvenir of his early childhood. His round, black glasses glinted from the lit candles that floated magically throughout the Great Hall. Ginny, on the other hand, had also matured beautifully. He long, red, Weasley-trademark hair fell down to her lower back, and she was also quite curvy. The smattering of freckles that dotted her face had begin to fade, thanks to the wizard sunscreen she had begun to use. Over the summer, while Harry stayed with the Weasleys at the Burro, he had finally come to his senses and asked Ginny out. Now, they were quite the couple at Hogwarts, practically joined at the hip.

Ginny had got a hold of some dessert, and was spoon-feeding Harry. A lock of his unmanageable black hair fell into his *Beautiful, thought Colin* green eyes, and Ginny brushed it away, giggling again.

* I want him so bad. So bad that it hurts to look at him, to gaze upon his gorgeous face, his stunning emerald eyes, until I am so drawn into him that I can't stop looking. And then it hurts even more. Ever since I was a stupid, innocent first year, I've wanted him. I KNOW, I KNOW, I shouldn't think of Harry LIKE THAT. The Boy Who Lived........ should not be tainted. But all the times he's saved me, and I can't repay him with anything.... except my love. And the one I love I can't have.*

And with that thought, Colin got up, struggling to hold back tears of misery, and ran for Gryffindor Tower. Although his small figure rushed right past Harry and Ginny, he went unnoticed by both.


	2. Conversations

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DISCLAIMER: None of these wonderful characters belong to me, nor the settings, nor anything else. The only thing that is 100% mine is that plot. Everything Harry belongs to the goddess of Harryana- JK Rowling. (Cuts off other arm in sacrifice)

RATING: PG-13

THERE IS SOME SLASH! DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ! (ONE-SIDED SLASH)

VERY ANGSTY! THIS CHAPTER IS LONGER!

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Chapter 2: Conversations

As Harry snuggled with his girlfriend, Ginny Weasley, at the Gryffindor table that night during dinner, he thought about how lucky he was. Gryffindor was beating Slytherin in Qudditch AND the run for the House Cup, Professor Trelawney was only predicting his death once a week (instead of the usual five), Snape was being less horrible to the Gryffindors, and he was with the greatest girl in the whole castle. Harry sighed with happiness.

"What's wrong, Harry?" whispered Ginny into his ear.

"I'm thinking about how lucky I am to be with you," Harry whispered back, pulling Ginny closer.

"I feel lucky, too," said Ginny, a mischievious grin crossing her face. She grasped Harry's Hand, got to her feet, and led Harry out into the Entrance Hall.

"Ginny, where are we going?" Harry asked amusedly.

"To our common room!" replied Ginny. "We have to hurry before everyone gets back!"

Harry got the message and grinned. Before he knew it, they were standing in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, and Ginny gave the password. ("Snidgets.") They entered the common room, which was lit only by the roaring fire. Ginny pulled Harry over to a dark corner, where the dancing flames just barely illuminated the walls. Her arms encircled Harry's neck, while he wrapped his arms about Ginny's waist. Their lips brushed together, and then their warm lips met. Their kiss was long, slow, and fiercely passionate, as Harry wrapped Ginny in his arms, and used his tongue to explore her mouth gently. Ginny responded with zeal as the world surrounded them- Ginny, and Harry, Harry and Ginny. Harry's hands had just sneaked up the back of Ginny's shirt when they heard footsteps outside the portrait hole. 

Harry and Ginny had only just broken apart and straightened themselves up when a horde of Gryffindors burst into the common room. The large, bewitched tapers scattered around the room burst into life. The common room soon became filled with the babble of today's gossip. Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, Harry's best friends since they met on the Hogwarts Express in their first year, came in shortly after the initial wave of Gryffindors. Ron was tall, lanky, with the trademark red Weasley hair. His smattering of freckles were more intense than his sister's. Hermione had long, thick hair that she finally managed to get under control. She was tall, though definitely not as tall as Ron. Her honey-coloured eyes glinted in the candlelight. Their hands were intertwined, and they happened upon Ginny and Harry, who were sitting in respective armchairs, grinning at each other. All four knew what the others had been up to, yet they didn't say anything. Hermione and Ron released each other from their handhold and pulled up armchairs to join Harry and Ginny.

"Hi Harry, hi Ginny. What's up?" asked Ron in an innocent sort of way.

"Nothing......... you?" replied Ginny in the same manner, a glint in her chocolate eyes.

"I think there's something wrong with Colin Creevey," Hermione announced. The others looked at her with surprise. "I saw him run out of the Great Hall, looking like he was going to cry,"

"He hasn't really been looking like himself lately," added Ron slowly. "Has he not been following you around, Harry?" he added mischieviously.

"Ron! He hasn't done that for ages!" Harry retorted. "I hadn't really noticed," he added.

"Neither have I," said Ginny, turning sheepish.

"I guess we've been wrapped up in each other," said Harry, smiling awkwardly.

"Harry, maybe you should talk to Colin. You know how much he looks up to you," said Hermione matter-of-factly.

"Yeah........ yeah, I will. I just hope Colin won't follow me everywhere again with that godforsaken camera," Harry added jokingly.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to bed," yawned Ginny.

"I'll second that," Hermione said.

Ginny gave Harry a quick peck on the lips. Hermione and Ron did the same. The girls went up the stairs to their dormitory, leaving the boys staring into the crackling fire.

"Harry........................?" asked Ron uncertainly.

"Yeah?" answered Harry thoughtfully.

"You aren't, well, you and Ginny....... are you............. you know?" Ron trailed off hopelessly.

"You mean, am I bedding her?! RON!" Harry exclaimed.

"Well, you know, I've got to protect my little sis!" said Ron a bit defensively.

"I understand Ron, I really do," Harry replied seriously. "I love Ginny a lot, but we're too young for that. Those are responsibilities we aren't ready or willing to take on."

"I trust you, Harry. I've got to do the big-brother thing; I'm the only one Ginny has in Hogwarts. You don't want all of us Weasleys breathing down your neck!" said Ron jokingly, appeased by Harry's answer.

Both boys fell silent again, staring into the cheerful warmth of the fire. Ron's voice broke the silence again.

"I'm off to bed," said Ron, rising to his feet. "You coming?"

"Nah........ I'll be up in a few minutes," said Harry. He still had a few things to think about.

*Things are working out so great, Harry thought. What could possible go wrong? Now that Voldemort's gone, I don't have to worry about staying alive, Hermions being harmed by Death Eaters, that git Draco Malfoy, (too bad I wasn't the one to kill him... Ron had that pleasure.) And, I'm in love. What more could I want?*

And with that, Harry went on upstairs to his dormitory. As he walked down the hall to his dorm, he heard a pitiful noise behind the door that read **SIXTH YEARS**. Harry approached the door, listening intently to the sounds of someone in complete despair. He cautiously knocked on the door, and the crying came to an abrupt halt.

"Come...... *cough, sniffle* come in?" said the voice inside. 


	3. Confessions and Pain

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DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, its characters, or anything. Just the plot. The goddess of Potter, JKR does. (Cuts off a leg in sacrifice.)

RATING: R (or PG-13) Whatever floats you boat, hm?

Here you go Carrie!

Chapter 3: Confession and Pain

"Co.... Come in?" a voice croaked.

Harry creaked the door open. The dorm was pitch black, and the shaft of light that filtered through from the door showed the dark shapes of various four-poster beds. All the bed curtains were open, showing that whoever was in there wasn't in bed.

"Who, who is it?" asked a voice from the dark recesses of the room.

"It's Harry Potter. Who's there?" Harry replied. No one answered. "_Lumos!" _said Harry, igniting the end of his wand.

Harry held his wand high, casting the wandlight into the corners to find whoever was hiding. The light fell onto Colin Creevey, who was shaking.

*Gads, it's Harry!* thought Colin wildly. *He can't see me like this!* Hurridly, Colin wiped his face with his hands, and, using his wand, lit a few tapers along the wall.

"Colin, are you okay?" asked Harry, genuine concern crossing his face.

"I'm fine!" squeaked Colin. *Gawd, he must think I'm a flaming infidel. Oh Harry......* "I was, uh..." Harry cut him off by moving closer.

"Colin, you haven't been yourself lately! Can you please tell me what's wrong?" Harry asked gently.

"I can't!" choked Colin. *I love you, Harry! That's what! And I can't have you!*

"Colin, please. I want to help," said Harry, resting his hands on Colin's still-not-quite developed shoulders. Colin shivered at Harry's touch.

"Harry, I, I.............." Colin said, unable to spill the secret that threatened to consume him. There was a look in his eyes Harry had never seen before. Harry nodded, encouraging the younger boy to continue.

"Harry, I........ I.......... I LOVE YOU!" the words burst out of Colin's mouth. Looking shocked, Colin ducked out of Harry's grasp, and turned away, face in his hands.

"What?......" Harry said confusedly.

"I love you!" Colin sobbed. "I love you so much it hurts!"

*Oh gods,* thought Harry. *I never would have expected this.*

"Colin, I.......I" Harry trailed off. Colin looked at him hopefully. Harry continued. "I can't return those feelings," said Harry, avoiding Colin's hurt expression. "I'm, I'm not gay, and, well, I have a girlfriend," Harry replied, feeling guilty. *I'm the source of his pain...... and I'm making it worse.*

"Harry....... don't do this to me!" Colin pleaded. "Please, say you love me!"

"I can't," Harry said in a final tone that wasn't-so-final. Harry tried to avoid looking at Colin, so he fussed with the sleeve of his robes.

"Harry, please! I need you! Please?! I'm so much better than Ginny Weasley!" Colin exclaimed out of desperation. Then realizing what he just said, he covered his mouth with his hands. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Colin whispered.

"That's enough!" Harry yelled, taking his wand out and pointing it at the blond-haired boy's chest. "I love _Ginny_. That is who I love. Don't go anywhere NEAR her! And, I'm....... sorry," whispered Harry. He then promptly turned on his heel, and fled the sixth year's dorm.

As the door closed behind Harry, he could already hear Colin start to sob. Harry fled for his dorm down the hall.

A/N : yes, i know it was short, but i got everything that needed to be here in. 


	4. More Conversations and Good Times Roll

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DISCLAIMER: I own none! None! except for the plot. Everything else belongs to the goddess JKR. I'm sorry! I have no body parts left to sacrifice!!!!!!

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RATING: R to PG-13! Be forewarned! Slashy-slash slash! I'm evil, I know, you don't have to tell me.... mwahahahaha

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Chapter 4: More Conversations, and Good Times Roll

*I'm such an idiot,* Colin thought, sobs wracking his small body. *Why did I go and do that?* Colin pounded the pillow under his head, and turned onto his back.

In the boy's seventh year dorm, Harry did the same. *I can't believe this. How did this happen? I'm such an idiot. How could I have not seen this? But...... I'm not like that. I love Ginny, right? RIGHT?! I don't know.... I'm so confused....... Colin, he can be so beautiful. But I don't love him, I love Ginny...*

And with that thought, Harry got up, and grabbed his silvery Invisibility Cloak. He put it on, and crept out of his dormitory, down the hall to the sixth years' dorm. He prodded the door handle with his wand, causing it to swing out without a sound. Harry glided in, shut the door quietly behind him, and looked around. He could hear the gentle breathing of all the other boys sleeping. One sound stood out among the others: the sound of suppressed sobbing. Harry knew that was Colin, so he quietly stepped across the room to the four-poster that contained Colin. Even though the scarlet hangings were shut tightly, the crying came through the thick velvet clearly. 

Harry pulled out his wand, whispered "_Lumos!" _, and wrenched the hangings open. The wandlight glinted off Colin's honey-blond hair. Colin, suddenly feeling the cool draft coming in from the hangings, sat up, and looked wildly around for the disturbance. His eyes were bloodshot, and his nose was bright red as well. Harry gazed at Colin for a second, still covered by the Invisibility Cloak, then lowered his hood. Colin's eyes grew wide, and he gasped audibly. VERY audibly. In a flash, Harry put a hand over Colin's mouth, got in the bed while tugging the hangings shut at the same time. As they sat in the dark, Harry fumbled with his wand, and mumbled _"Silencio!" _ With a silencing spell, they could talk freely.

"What are you doing here?" sputtered Colin, hurriedly using his pajama sleeve to wipe his face.

"I came to see you. We need to talk," said Harry seriously, with wandlight glinting on his glasses.

"About?..........." Colin trailed off as Harry began to speak.

"Colin, what happened a couple of hours ago, it's turned my life upside down. I mean, I always thought I was straight, and even Neville teased me for being straight as an arrow. But...... I don't know. Everyone expects me to have the answers. I usually do, but not this time," Harry said, while puckering up his brow. "I just don't know,"

"I love you, Harry, I honestly do. All I know is that I want to be with you," replied Colin, with the red draining from his face.

"I have a girlfriend, Colin," Harry said warningly.

"I know! But do you honestly love her?" Colin said unbelievingly.

"I do!" Harry said. Then seeing the look on Colin's face, and feeling his own guilt, he amended. "I thought I did......."

"See?" said Colin, sounding a bit triumphant.

"Colin, it's not that easy! Everyone expects me to marry her, including Ron and the rest of his family. Not to mention the staff, our friends, and I could go on as to say that's what the entire wizarding world expects of us. It's a lot of pressure, and it's also my chosen path," Harry replied, looking saddened at the thought.

"Did you choose it, or did it choose you?" Colin asked slyly.

"I did..... actually, I didn't. It's so hard to be me, to have everyone's eyes on you, always asking you questions about things you can't remember, and I just want to let it go. Let loose, and do things that no one thinks I'll ever do," Harry said, looking thoughtful.

"Like what?" Colin asked.

"Hm?" Harry said, still thinking about the things that no one expected him to do.

"What would you do, if you could do anything?" Colin asked again.

Harry looked as though he had a good idea, and he studied Colin for a few seconds before moving closer, so that he sat next to the younger boy.

"Things like _this,_" Harry said, before taking Colin in a forceful kiss.

Their kiss was passionate and desperate. Harry used his tongue to slide Colin's mouth open, and fenced gently with his tongue. Colin responded by deepening the kiss, and licking Harry's lips before kissing his neck, with butterfly kisses on the jawbone. Harry groaned softly, before he took his shirt off and proceeded to unbutton Colin's. Colin shivered when the cool air hit his bare skin, but Harry wrapped Colin tighter into his arms. Harry quickly extinguished the wandlight, and he proceeded to have a night unlike any others he had spent in his life.


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